Jessica Mortney's lime green nails were tapping her desk impatiently as always. As common as it was to her and the people around her, it really seemed to drive me insane.
And I mean it REALLY drove me nuts. I took out my black pen and started to shade the crappy little sketch on my binder of me driving a stake into Jessica's skull.

If she was really a vampire though, i'd cry. Cry and cry and shoot myself. Cause if people like JESSICA could become a vampire, then all hope for the world of Awesome-Stuff was lost. And I mean ALL hope.

The final bell rang as the last class of the day was out. Jessica's ugly lime green nails stopped tapping -finally- and I got my binder and pens put away.
Not even the teachers paid attention to me anymore. Sure, when I was a freshman it was cute to see how everyone blew me off. Maybe in the Staff Room they even got kudos for who tried helping me socially the most. But after that science project my sophmore year where Billy Morris asked to "make me a woman at prom" and I shoved him into a tray of bleach... Well, I wasn't as cute to the teachers anymore.

I sighed when i got to my locker. I had the same one every year. The black paint was chipping off the sides, and the inside's left side was dented in. The guy to my left had done it last semester, to make more room for his football equipment during the day.
This school was getting so tiresome...

I stared at the crumpled tin of a locker I had, the textbooks inside it were all torn up and old. I took the latin book out, making enough room to shove my final class' giant math book in. Then I had to do this stupid, overly complex motion of shoving the latin book back in with double the force you'd need to break the sound barrier with just some bad gas.
Once it was finally in I heaved a sigh of relief and shut my locker.


And promptly crapped my pants.

As soon as I shut the flimsy metal door I saw the person who had been standing there behind it for lord knew how long. He stared down at me with less than bemused eyes and I felt like I was a little girl caught with her hand stuck in a cookie jar.


"C-Can I help you?" I murmured, mentally kicking myself for sounding so pathetic.
"You're Kaitlynn Davis, right?"

"Uh..y-yeah..." I stared up at him in worry. He looked too old to go to school anymore. But a bit young to be a teacher. Maybe he was one of those new people they hired fresh out of college?
"...Hm. Good enough." He stood tall, off form leaning on the lockers. And without a second glance at me he walked away.
Down the hall, to the left, gone.


I stood there for probably five minutes in silence wondering repeatedly, "What the hell was all that?"
Sadly there was no answer. There was just me, going to the parking lot quietly.

My beat up piece-of-junk Pontiac from sophomore year had been taken away last Christmas by my aunt. I loved the woman, but she had no sense of tact. I was ME for lord's sake!
Somehow she didn't understand it when I told her "No Auntie, I love you but something about a shiny new Porsche in my garage seems weird."

She got me the car last chirstmas, and I felt like and idiot pulling up to my low-key school in that robin's egg blue HIGH-KEY car.
But at the end of the day I was still me, and no one paid it a second glance.


I didn't know whether to be relieved or emotionally crushed.





When I finally got to the parking lot I noticed almost every other car was gone. Tonight was the away game, so naturally every kid -even the nerds- went home ASAP.
Except me.

"Good ol' Kaitlynn, traditional and....bleeeh." I stuck my tongue out a bit too much in the motion and felt myself nearly gag. I shuddered slightly and got in the giant blue monster. It revved to life beautifully and I felt like kicking it. Or putting it in a time machine until it came back out as some rusted out-of-date mess.
But those wishes started getting hopeless the first semester I had this thing.

I pulled out steadily and turned her around. Yes her, god forbid I genderalize my car. I flicked on the stereo on my way out of the parking lot, trying to loop around to the front and get on the main road. Some monotone song was playing dully.
Almost immediately I glanced down, trying to like the cassette cord and find where it hooked up to my ipod in the car. I gave up after a good 20-second search, deciding music came after road safety.

I was just about to go over a speed bump when I shouted, slammed on the breaks, and watched a good three dozen sets of crows take off from not only in front of my car, but from the left and right sides of it to. They all cawed and cackled at me angrily as they took to the sky. I sat there in awe and shock for a few seconds before shakily trying to dismiss the incident.
Reaching back down for my ipod I got it up, picked a calm song, and drove home thankfully without any more freaky incidents.









My house was...a bit more than I had ever wanted. It was big. Really big.
One of those fancy houses rich people got just to say 'oh yes, back at my summer home'. It had my room, and about three other fancy rooms, each with a personal bathroom.

It was ridiculous, too much, and -this was obvious- from my aunt.
I pulled into the driveway, opened the garage, and nested the blue monster - as I so loved to call her.
I didn't bother with much else besides parking it and shutting the garage. Well, that and taking the keys out.
The keys, which I threw with love, got slung onto my kitchen table as soon as I got in the door.

My message machine was beeping and as was reflex I glanced tot eh calendar. Usually I got calls from Auntie, only holidays, s she could report what glorious item of overpriced joy she'd just gone out and bought me.
But today was an average monday, no holidays at all. I hit the "play all" button as I sat my back pack down and tried deciding on dinner.



"Hey Kaitlyyyyyynn!"
Oh cruddle, it was my aunt.
"I was out today and I knooow you always say not to buy you anything, but this just SCREAMED that it was for you! Soo...I got it!" she let out a tiny squeal of excitement, and I assumed she thought I was doing the same whenever I heard this. "It should arrive this afternoon, i'm rush-mailing it so you can call me later and tell me how much you L-O-V-E LOOOOVE it! CAll me later hunny!"

She hung up and I let out a loud groan, slamming my head into the cabinet I was moments ago shuffling through.








In five hours time I heard the doorbell to the front door ring. Shoving the chinese takeout I had ordered for dinner away, I got up and heading out of my kitchen, to the elaborate living room, and thus to the door. "Hello?" I said calmly, trying to sound somewhat unexpectant. I wasn't a very good actor.
I opened the giant door with the glass top and faux-gold loopy frilly line things in it. Outside was a mailman in blue attire with his hat one, holding a package about the size of a printer. But unless it was gold-plated, I knew Auntie would never get me anything practical like a printer.

The guy handed it over without words, and I couldn't help but wonder what his problem was. He looked pissed off about something since his eyes were narrowed, and that little part of the nose between the eyes was all crinkled up.
"Hey- aren't you that weird kid from my schoo-" "No. I'm not. Now shut up and sign for the package."

"Oh..well gawd, soor-ee. You look a lot like him though..." I murmured, taken aback by his brash attitude. Whatever he was pissed off about, it must have been bad.
He held out the clipboard and pen and I signed on the little dotted line quickly. "That's weird, normally these forms have full lines, not dotted." I mumbled.
"New standard issue." he hissed, before turning around and heading down the pathway.

I shut the door, screwing up my face and voice while mocking all his snappy little words.
"Hey wait-" I turned and threw open my front door, looking back out. But he was gone, with no trace. "-I never saw a...mail....truck....."



I had had enough of today's forecast of freaky with a slight chance of jackass, so I went back to my chinese, nibbling away at the tiny bits of corn in it while peeling off the brown wrapping paper.

The box was definatly heavy, and I started to wonder maybe it was a freaking printer after all.
But when I opened it what it was definatly was NOT a printer.




It was a book.
A giant, really old, really smelly....book.

Right one cue the phone rang while I stared into the open box in what I can only imagine was a dull 'what the crap' stare.

"Ohhh, Kaiiitlynn! Well, did it arrive yet?"
"Sure did, Auntie." I laughed, doing my very best to not start off with 'why did you mail me a giant 5-ton book?'

Which isn't to say I didn't like books, but gigantic ones that smelt like rotted...rot weren't high on my lists of "Must Read"s.

"Weeeeell, do you like it?" she chirrped, her excitment building.
"Well, it sure was a surprise when I opened the box!" I said, laughing again, but this time more without humor.

"I thought you'd like it, it's totally something you'd dig. Nice and floral, y'know?"
"Yeah, totally."

I wondered what the heck could be floral on the ugly thing as I turned, phone in hand, to peer in the box. The book was seemingly leather, brown, and had some foreign marks and words on it. In the center as a big word in black ink that I didn't understand. Nothing floral at all.


"So, Auntie, where did you find it?"
"What do you mean sweetie, it says on the box. Or did you open it so fast you didn't see?" she laugh a bit, sounding really happy that I was so excited to get a gift.

I looked to the package again and pulled down the packing paper, finding no marks anywhere on the box.

"Oh, yeah, I see it." I lied, laughing at my own non-existant silliness. Auntie laughed to, right as my doorbell rang.

"Ah, well i really loved the gift but someone's here, I gotta go. Love you Auntie!"

"Love you to dear, i'll get you another one if I find it!"


We hung up while I choked down my thoughts of 'lease god don't'. I ruched to the tenth ringing of my doorbell. "Hello?" I said, rather annoyed, to find a fat guy scratching his butt with the clipboard. He held out a small package the side of a tissue box. I took it, shying away from the clipboard.
He grunted at me dully, and I whined a bit as I sighed the gross thing. He looked at my signature before nodding and heading back to his piece of junk mail van.


"What is going on?" I murmured while I shut my door and tore open the box. 'Creame De' Alice' was scrawled on the side of the box, and inside was a tiny wooden jewelry box with flowers carved into the wooden. It had gold trim on the turning key, and the inside was so detailed it just screamed 'antique' and 'waaaay expensive'.





I looked from the jewelry box to the smelly book and decided one thing.



This was not going to be fun sorting out.